You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.
You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 6:5-9

Lena's (first) mission trip to
Haiti turned into our
Adoption Adventure!
Can't wait to see what God has in store next.....

Saturday, November 22, 2008

God speaks in many ways....

The question is, am I listening?

You know how sometimes when the radio is on, the music is background noise? It's either there for mood or to keep us company, or it just sort of fades into the background.

And other times the music is the focus? We're listening to our favorite song or artist and sometimes singing along.

Well, the other day, I was driving, and the music was definitely background noise, I don't know what I was preoccupied with but it was probably how tired I was and my 'to do' list, as well as being a safe, courteous driver. LOL. (you can read that as I was griping and complaining in my head about all I 'had' to do and basically feeling sorry for myself, if you like. You wouldn't be incorrect.) ;-)

But suddenly the music became the focus because a single line in an unfamiliar song-literally 'jumped out' at me. Almost like it was inside my head, rather than on the radio.

You also know how frequently radio stations go from one song (or commercial) to the next and don't tell you who the artist is or the name of the song? Well after this line from this song caught my attention, the dj actually said the name of the song and the artist, both. Seriously, that almost never happens, especially when I want to know!

The song is called 'What Life Would Be Like' by Big Daddy Weave from their album by the same name.

The chorus is:

"He made the lame walk and the dumb talk
He opened blinded eyes to see
That the sun rises on His time
Yet He knows our deepest desperate need
And the world waits while His heart aches
To realize the dream
I wonder what life would be like if we let Jesus live thru you and me"

The line that 'jumped out' at me was: "And the world waits while His heart aches"

The world WAITS while HIS HEART ACHES. I must admit that I have never thought of it from this perspective. That Jesus is waiting to return, and that the world/some of us are waiting for Him to return. And that His heart is aching. I can sure relate to an aching heart. This waiting is a hard thing to walk through. Knowing who your children are and that they are far far away and there is nothing you can do but (paperwork and) wait.

I've "met" many wonderful waiting adoptive parents online. We've had many discussions, blog posts, emails and comments about how our hearts ache for our children, and we just want them home, yesterday. I even met one mother whose biological infant died. I met another mother whose precious Haitian daughter died during the waiting time. And a few others whose birth parents changed their minds. Read about Noah here. And Anchise here

We are waiting and our hearts are aching. Plain and simple.

Go back and read the lyrics for the chorus-and notice the line before the one that caught my attention:

"Yet He knows our deepest desperate need"

He knows our deepest desperate need. Wow. He knows.

Then I was reminded of Matthew 7:9-11:

9 “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? 10 Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! 11 So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him. (NLT)

The Message states it like this:

7 -11"Don't bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn't a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we're in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn't think of such a thing. You're at least decent to your own children. So don't you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better? (The Message)

We love our children and want good things for them-I can barely comprehend the love God has for us. God is love. The love we feel for our children-is NOTHING-only a speck, compared to the great love that God feels for us. WOW. Hard to comprehend, because I feel a LOT of love for our boys.

While all this stuff is milling around in my head (which admittedly can be a scary place sometimes lol), because God is trying to get my focus back in the right place-on Him; I had someone (who I haven't spoken to in ages, and really doesn't know me all that well these days) ask me if I was worried that my feelings about our kids would change or if I might change my mind during the process because it was so long. I was like "WHAT?!?!?!" As if. Do your feelings for your biological children change because you've 'had them' a few years?!?! WHAT?!? I just had to shake my head and move on. I see it as evidence of how little this person knows me, God and my relationship with God. That's all.

And so, with all of this, I was snapped out of my lil pity party and God helped me to put my focus back in the right place, on Him. When I focus on God-and all the details that He has brought together in my life, in this adoption, there has been confirmation after confirmation-I cannot help but feel comforted and secure in trusting Him to work it all out. It is CLEAR that God has put this together. And God does not do things halfway. So I trust Him and move forward. One step at a time.

I'm guessing that this waiting time will be a season of growth and stretching like none other. Having gone through a few other seasons of growth, I'm frightened by that, and yet, grateful, and awed, by that. That God cares enough to want to grow, stretch, teach me. Wow. It really is awe-inspiring.

I also know it is for my own good, because God is love. So, I am waiting while my heart is aching for God to grow me/my faith-whatever He needs to do.

God's will be done.


  1. Wow! Lena, thank you so much for sharing your heart. This is my first time to read your blog. I received a google alert about it because my husband is in Big Daddy Weave and, of course, I like to read what people are saying about them. :)

    I just read your blog to my husband, Jeremy, as we are driving to the movies on there first weekend off since ending their "What Life Would Be Like" tour. We are both so moved by your blog. We've been trying to have a baby for over a year now and waiting on God to bless us with a child. My heart aches so much for a family. We're definitely open to whatever way God will give us a family... even by way of adoption.

    I love how God touched your heart through this song. After knowing it for over a year now (my husband produced the album :) I am hearing it in a whole new way. It has always been one of my favorite songs on the album but it now has a whole new meaning for me.

    Thank you so much!

    May God bless you and your husband along your journey.

    Love in Christ,


  2. I was listening to a woman yesterday who is a Christian evangelist. I can't find her name anywhere, but she is so funny to listen to and her message is so powerful.
    Yesterday she told the account of how she and her husband came to adopt two boys from Africa who were 12 & 13 years old and how she let God handle the situation. Her message was to let God handle your motherhood story. And that really stuck with me.

  3. Hi Lena,

    I can not imagine that "ache" you feel for your boys to come HOME! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Would it be helpful for you to think of this "time" that you have to wait...and try to turn it into something positive? How can you use the time/energy that you have now and focus it into preparing for their arrival? Or would that make you "ache" more? I'm not sure? Just a thought...

  4. Hi Anna,

    Nice to 'meet' you.

    Thanks for taking the time to write and share a bit about your own journey. Thanks also for sharing the post with your husband-how cool is that? Their music is making a difference :-)

    God is great, all the time, no matter what we are going through.

    Thanks again for sharing!

  5. Hi Kimberley,

    Thanks for your note-I think that is a GREAT message-to let God handle my motherhood story. That's the best 'advice' I've heard-I think that it would be even better if I would just let God handle everything!!

    Take care!

  6. Hi Amy,

    Thanks for your thoughts and prayers-I need all that I can get. I'm doing alright, one day at a time. I think the key is simply to keep my focus in the right place-and that is on God.

    I am preparing for their arrival-even though its years away. And I am making plans to go visit them. And blogging helps too.

    Great tips, thanks for writing, and keep praying!


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