You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.
You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 6:5-9

Lena's (first) mission trip to
Haiti turned into our
Adoption Adventure!
Can't wait to see what God has in store next.....

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Something I've been thinking about.....

Read this, then come back. Go on, I'll wait. :-)

This is something I have been thinking about for some time now....and praying about how to do this. How do I teach the boys that we (mama and papa) are different from the rest of the very nice people out there? It's a balance, because I don't want to scare them (with the reality that some people are not safe) too much, and yet, reality is what it is.

Think about it. They live in a protected/secure environment. Staff take care of them. Staff who come and go. House managers come and go. Teams of really nice people come in and visit. Then leave. The children put their arms up to anyone to be picked up, for a little attention and affection. And it's good. It's safe. They get some love. And then, the teams leave.

How on earth do I teach a 7 and 4 year old that we (mama and papa) are different than all the other people? That we are FOREVER. That we are PERMANENT. That we can be trusted to meet their needs? That we are SAFE? and that some people are NOT SAFE?

Dear Lord, work on their hearts and ours as we prepare for the challenges of this reality. Help the people around us to understand and support us as we work through this. With you, all things are possible. Thank you, in Jesus name, amen.


  1. Thanks for sharing this Lena. I've been thinking about this topic too and praying about it.

  2. it's good that you are thinking of this....thankfully you have been blessed to have visited your boys many times....planting that seed that you and bob are they're mama and papa and coming back showing them you love them. you also have the ability to communicate over and over how much you love them and that you will never leave matter what. even in they act up.....steve and john b are older and can begin to understand. i believe it will be through your actions and not words that they will begin to understand. just that you are already contemplating this is the first step!!!!

  3. I think prayer is the first thing you should do...which it sounds like you are. I prayed about my children's bond to us as parents from the day we started the process until a couple months after they were home. I also "read the Bible" to them everyday...asking the Lord to hear my voice in a language they could understand. It may sound silly but he answered my prayers.

    When they came they "knew" who their parents doubt about it. They did have some issues with everyone holding them & I did have to ask people to stop. For one, Caleb would let you hold him all day...which isn't good for anyone :o) & two, people were picking up Samara because she's small but not thinking how that affected Phoebe who is only a year older & Shakira who is two years older who are too big to be picked up.

    The first month or two they are overwhelmed by "everything"...especially learning our language so I didn't even start to talk about "strangers" on a deeper level until later. I did let them know that although you can smile & say "Hello" to a passer by, you just can't go every passer by & run up to them. It didn't take them long to figure it out...even for Caleb & Shakira.

    So my suggestion is to continue to pray about & do how the Lord leads you.


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