Heavy

It has been a heavy week.

• A friend has lost a parent.
• Another friend has a grandparent in the hospital.
• A pregnant friend is having some scary health concerns.
• Another family is dealing with severe burns of their 6 year old daughter.
• And another family of a friend lost their mom to cancer.
• And there is the ongoing suffering of people I love, in Haiti.

My heart hurts for each of these dear friends and their situations.

It is the kind of week that makes me ask  questions like:

What the heck is going on here?

Why does God allow this kind of suffering?

Why do bad things happen to good people?

 
I have been praying on my face crying out to God for each situation.  Fortunately, God is very loving and kind.  And patient.  And merciful.

God has reminded me of what I know to be Truth:

We know that we are children of God 

and that the world around us is

under the power and control of 

the evil one.  

1 John 5:19

For me, this that changes the question into

How does ANYTHING good EVER happen?

It forces me to a realization and place of absolute humility and gratitude.

For my life is good.  Very, very good.

I am blessed.

Even amidst the pain and suffering. (and self imposed "stress".)

And I have known both pain and suffering.  Well.  Very well.

For pain and suffering are part of life.

As much as joy and laughter are.

I also know that the God I serve can and will take what the enemy means for evil (ie to harm God's children) and use if for His glory.  What Satan means for evil, God can use for good, somehow, some way.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD.

"They are plans for good and not for disaster, 

to give you a future and a hope".  

Jeremiah 29:11

		Put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all the strategies and tricks of the Devil.  For we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those mighty powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms.
		Use every piece of God's armor to resist the enemy in the time of evil, so that after the battle you will still be standing firm.
		Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness.
		For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that you will be fully prepared.
		In every battle you will need faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by Satan.
		Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
		Pray at all times and on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all Christians everywhere.

Ephesians 6:11-18

Pray with me.

Oh how the devil must hate it
when what he means for evil (the suffering and pain)
pushes us closer to the Lord Almighty,
and strengthens our faith,
our resolve,
and our prayers.

Ha ha, Satan. TAKE THAT!

Pray with me, people.

Dear God,

Lord, I thank you and praise you that NO MATTER WHAT, you are in control. You are God of the Universe, the Creator and You are in control. No matter what it looks like, no matter what I can see or not see. You are God and for that, I am thankful.

Lord, thank you for the gift of family and friends, near and far. People who pray, people who know you and love you and serve. Thank you for those that gathered to pray together tonight. Thank you for those that prayed for us and with us all across the world. Thank you for those that called, texted, emailed, facebooked and tweeted.

Thank you for your word that tells me:

And the Holy Spirit helps us in our distress. For we don't even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. Romans 8:26

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

And that you gave me this promise from Isaiah 43:5 Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west.

I love you and am ever thankful.

Please be with the people of Haiti-all of them. Let you peace fall on them-your peace that surpasses human understanding. The kind of peace that can only come from you, Lord. Help families and loved ones to get in touch with each other. Help medical needs to be met. Provide clean water and safety. I pray for the people of Haiti. I thank you for bring to world and national headlines the plight of this poor little country that you love. I pray for glory to be brought to you in the midst of this tragedy and chaos. I pray that people come to you, turn to you, for the real hope, the real life only you can give.

I pray specifically for the staff and children of Three Angels. I pray for your mighty hand of protection. Calm them. Help them. Protect them. I lift up Abbey-this young woman is a mighty woman of God, and she could really use your help right now. Give her peace and wisdom to take care of the children. I pray for all of the children at the orphanage...you know their names. I pray for the staff and their families. I pray for the biological families of the children at the orphanage.

God, while we wait to hear real news from Haiti, I take great comfort that you already know the need, and even now, as I type, you are rising up a great army to meet the needs. Thank you again for the privilige of coming to you in prayer. Thank you for hearing us.

In the holy and precious name of Jesus Christ, King of Kings and Lord of Lords, I pray all these things, believing You.

Amen.

Prayer....

God has placed a heavy burden on my heart today. Please join me in praying for our military men and women, specifically those in combat zones. Pray for the whole military, including their families....but today, I feel a special need to pray for those in combat zones. They hear and see things most of us can't even imagine. They have to make split second life or death decisions. They risk their lives for our freedom. They leave their families to defend our nation. Pray for wisdom, safety, God's army of angels to protect them. And however else you feel led to pray.

Thank you.

Pray with me, please

Hi all,

Thanks for your tips, suggestions and thoughts on the whole issue of school. It's been helpful. I will continue to pray about it and see where God leads.

Today, I am praying specifically for fast, forward movement of our adoption file / dossier. I am asking God to protect every single piece of paper and to guide it all through the system. I am so thankful for the fast forward movement we have had so far, and pray God allows it to continue. I am also praying for God's provision as to the remaining adoption expenses.

Will you pray with me?

Thank you.

Soon...we'll be there soon, boys.

I prayed for these children,

and the Lord has granted me

what I asked of him.

1 Samuel 1:27

A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!

Can't wait so squeeze my son, JB

Dear Lord,

Thank you for choosing me to play a role in this little boy's life. Protect him, comfort him, reveal Your love to him. Thank you for keeping him safe and the loving care he has gotten. I pray for your continued blessing and protection on him. I pray for his heart and for his spirit. Lord, he's been through so much in his short life. I pray for him. Let him know mama and papa are coming to visit very soon. Thank you again for all you have done, are doing, and will do. I'm continue to be amazed by your goodness. Thank you, Jesus.

My sweet, silly son...Steeve

Dear Lord,

I am so grateful for the gift of this amazing little boy. Thank you for choosing me to be his mama. I pray for your protection and blessing on his sweet little heart and his gentle spirit. I thank you for the loving care and safety he has experienced so far in life, and I pray that You continue keeping Your hand on him. I'm awed and honored to play a role in the story You are writing. I'm thrilled and can't wait to see what happens next. I love you and praise you. Thank you, Jesus.

I Asked God....a poem by unknown

I asked God to take my pain away.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away,
but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
Her spirit was whole,
her body was only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a by-product of tribulations,
it isn't granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings,
Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares
and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own,
but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life
so that you may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as he loves me.
God said... Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.

Author Unknown

Careless in the care of God

It occurred to me recently that I often post and/or request prayer with problems and needs. I've been working on that-being more thankful and aware of my blessings. I am blessed and I know it. Most of the time, I know it.

My friend Stephanie's post encouraged me and reminded me of my desire to be more thankful and encouraging in my daily life. Her post also served as a reminder for me to continue to do what I can for who I can....helping however, whenever.....because I just never know what small act of kindness, smile, card, word of encouragement may mean to someone.

So, I thought I would share a few praises with you.

1) We both get to travel to Haiti next month to visit with the boys. This is in part due to our scrimping and saving and in part due to a VERY GENEROUS gift from someone in our church family. In fact, we were getting ready to talk (fight) over which one of us was going to get to go, because we only had enough money for one of us to go. And then, the generous gift. Thank you God, for allowing this family to bless our family. Thank you for their faithfulness and obedience in the area of finances that allow them to bless others. Thank you also for the encouragement.

2) We had what I think had to be the world's largest garage sale this past weekend. Seriously, I have never seen so much stuff. It was overwhelming! We had friends make signs, put up signs, loan us tables, donate their stuff, work with us to organize, bring us donuts and coffee, help us find a home for the left overs and so much more. One friend even brought her kiddos and set up a lemonade stand for donations. And of course, some friends shopped. :-) The long days and hard work paid off with almost exactly what we need to pay the remainder of our program fee to the orphanage.

3) Awhile back (actually coming up on a year ago), I was blessed with a part time job opportunity that I can do and work around my practice. It started as a pool (sub) position, and has since morphed into a part time position with benefits. I was not actively seeking a job when this came about, in our current economic downturn, I believe it to be an answer to prayer over our finances and adoption expenses.

4) My husband's business has been up and down, (he's a contractor/remodel guy) and yet we have always had what we needed, when we needed it.

There are other blessings, but you get the idea. God is great. He cares about the details and He is providing for our family.

I am blessed and thankful.


Matthew 6:26-34 (The Message):

^{25 -26}"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.

^{27 -29}"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

^{30 -33}"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

³⁴"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Prayers & Praises

Praising God for what he's doing for the children of Haiti via the "hands and feet" of Christ. Check this out: Tara Livesay A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.

Today, we are T-minus 46 days from our planned arrival in Haiti with the Parkway Christian Church team. Not that I am counting or anything. Not that I am excited or anything. Tonight, we are have a BBQ at our house with the team members traveling (maybe 11 of us or so?) and their families. Can't wait to hang out and get some more details.
Can't wait to squeeze my boys again.
Pray for the details (funds, supplies, projects, good health etc.) to come together for this team. We need more supplies to take with us.

Got some new pics from a mom that was just in Haiti-Thanks Sarah. The pics do my heart a world of good, while I wait.

We are planning a garage sale next weekend. We have gotten a LOT of GREAT stuff donated to sell. It's amazing. I'm excited, and a little overwhelmed. Lots of work to do....but we are praising God for the opportunity to do some work and earn some money toward our adoption expenses. Pray for the work to go well, an organized sale and a GREAT turnout where people buy everything....I took a few pics of the garage, but haven't uploaded them yet. It's full. A 3 car garage, with only room for 1 car right now!!

Praising God for the funk that I was in lifting. I really felt your prayers, so thanks.

We serve a really BIG God and He is not surprised by any of this. Woohoo!
I am grateful for the reminder.

Share each other's troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2

How can I pray for you?

2 verses. Hope they encourage you like they encourage me.

God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves
to the law, so that he could
adopt us as his very own children.
Galatians 4:5

I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers!

~ Isaiah 65:24

Heavy Day

Image by cobalt123 via Flickr

Today was what I call a "heavy day" at work (the hospital).

Some days are like that. It's just the way it is.

I had two separate people in the same day, at two different times say to me:

"I am XX years old. I'm done."

Both feeling hopeless and discouraged and with a whole list of illnesses and problems. Both arguing that I couldn't possibly understand, and that "I have a right to die."

Sometimes, people say that, and they mean it, in passing. They are tired. They are frustrated. They are in pain.

These two are the same, and experiencing all that, but it felt different. Utterly hopeless. Like they meant it.

Yikes.

Pray for this man, and this woman. Who aren't really all that old. Or maybe they are. I don't know. It's up to God to decide when it is time. But if we give up the fight, the will to live, and lose hope, that has an impact, doesn't it?

Pray for the Lord to move in their hearts and give them the will to live.

Pray for all their health care providers.

Pray for their families.

Pray that tomorrow is a better day-not so heavy.

Prayer

I like the full version of this prayer:

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

the courage to change the things I can;

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is,

not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next.

Amen.

Attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

Please grant me this, Lord.

One year ago.....

Image by hoyasmeg via Flickr

I took a step of faith, obeying God and following Him way, way, WAY out of my comfort zone. I don't know if I can convey just how far out of my comfort zone this was....you'll just have to trust me on this one. (One example, I used to get nervous driving to CANADA. seriously. I used to be so fear-based, it blows my mind, looking back.)

I went on my first short term mission trip ever last year at this time.

When our church started planning the mission trips for that year, there were 3 or 4 separate trips planned, to different countries. In the early planning stages, the meetings were held jointly for all the different trips. The various leaders would present information on the country and the projects that the team would be doing while in country. Then we would split up into smaller groups based on the country/team/trip we were most interested in.

I went to the meetings, because I have always been interested in missions.

But I never had the __________________ (time, money, ability, group to go with, faith, etc., you fill in the blank with any excuse you can think of, and I had it) to go.

I would listen to the plans and discussions and think, that'd be neat, but I never did anything about it.

Eventually it came time to commit (*uh-oh, I have commitment issues also) to one trip, one country.

Haiti just "floated to the top" of my interest list. It wasn't like there was a big flashing neon sign or an audible word from God, but more like it just felt right. Haiti got "under my skin" and "into my heart" from the begining.

And so, I went about making plans.

Passport. Check.
Shots. Check.
Time off work. Check.
Fundraising. Check.
Gathering supplies. Check.
Reading all I could about Haiti and Three Angels Children's Relief. Check.
Packing. Check.

I remember the anxiety mixed with excitement.

I remember the full blown fear that tried to turn to panic at times.

I remember thinking of all the good I was going to do. (this one is funny in hindsight)

I remember wondering if I was doing the right thing, for the right reasons.

I remember getting negativity and objections and an overall lack of support from some people. Some of which I expected. Others were a shock.

I remember raising exactly the amount I needed to pay for this trip, down to the dollar, by the deadline/due date.

Even on the day of departure, there were things that came up that in the past, would have made me change my mind and stay home. But somehow, this day, this time was different. When the "things" came up, I became more determined-I viewed the obstacles as confirmation that I was indeed on the right path.

And so, I took a leap of faith.

And I will be forever grateful that I did.

For it is on that first trip that I met the children that God had chosen for our family from the beginning of time.

And I began what I have come to call our "adoption adventure". And what an adventure it has been and will continue to be.

I still don't know when the boys will come home, but God does.

I still can't see how I am going to pay all of the adoption fees, but God has a plan.

I don't know what sort of emotional or behavioral issues the boys are going to have or not have. But God does, and He will equip us to deal with whatever it is that we will need to deal with, in the right time, His perfect timing.


What I CAN see is this:

I now have now is a deeper and closer relationship with God. It is mind-blowing at times.

I am starting to get and really understand what words like: surrender, acceptance, trust, love and faith look and feel like.

I have a stronger and more intense prayer life.

I have a building confidence in God as my provider.

I have many many more opportunities to share with all sorts of people what God has done in my life, how He has adopted me, into His family. How I am not who I was.

I have friends all over the world who share the same passion for people less fortunate than we are. I have friends, oh, do I have a whole new network of friends: for prayer, for support, for venting, for encouraging, for learning, for understanding, for listening, for crying together.

And I have a family. A mother's love. A connection to two children that I did not give birth to.

And even if these children never come home to live with us, I will have gained much. No matter what happens in this world, I have gained much from this "adoption adventure" that started with a simple step of faithful obedience.

And for that, I am grateful.

Moved.
To.
Tears.
Grateful.

On.
My.
Knees.
In.
Humble.
Prayer.
Grateful.


Readers, if God is telling you to do something, please do not delay and miss out on the blessings He wants for you. Obedience is the key. Stepping outside of our comfortable lives is the key. I implore you not to put off obeying God.

God is good.

He loves you.

He's not mad at you.

He wants you back.

No matter what.

I get it now. I finally get it, God.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jer. 29:11

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Mathew 6:34

Quick Update-I have been speechless for a few days.

This is a bit of a bipolar post. Full of ups and downs. My life is sort of like that these days. Friends and family moving away. Job changes. Financial stuff. Decisions. Big decisions. Small decisions. I don't think I am losing it. Maybe I am. But if I was, I don't think I would be aware of it, do you? Hmmmm. I'm pretty aware that my emotions are all over the place right now. I think that I just have to laugh or cry. Sometimes, both at the same time. So read on, at your own risk. LOL


Last week, I got an email from USCIS that says they have made a "favorable determination" regarding our AOF application. What this means is that USCIS has reviewed documents submitted and at least initially found that the boys meet the legal definition of orphan, as is required for immigration to the United States. That is good news. It's one small step in a process full of big and small steps. I don't really think it means we are any closer or anything like that-it just means that one thing has been accomplished. The letter tells me to pursue the adoption abroad, and then submit those documents to USCIS for a final approval. And it gives a deadline of September 2009. THAT made me laugh out loud.

In reviewing the letter, I also saw something else, that was not good news.

It's strange, because it is not something that I did not know.

I mean, I did already know this, but there was something about seeing it in black and white that just sort of took my breath away. Part of the documents reviewed include the forms/paperwork that the birth family filled out when they relinquished the boys to the orphanage.

Now I KNEW how long my boys have lived there. I have seen the pictures and talked to people involved with the orphanage long before me. This was not new information to me, but seeing the date in black and white really did a number on me. It took my breath away. It broke my heart. It forced me to my knees and to cry out to God. I have cried for the last several days, off and on. Fine one moment, not fine the next. Better when I don't think about it. But it's pretty hard not to think about it.

They have been there too long. That's all I'm going to say about it. It's a good place. They are happy. They are loved. They are fed. They are cared for. They are learning. It is a good place and I'm HAPPY they are there, for the alternative could be so much worse. And yet, it saddens me deeply because children belong in families, not in orphanages. Period. end of story.

I pray for the children-these two boys especially, but for all the children living in group settings or worse, on the streets. Who will care for them? Who will do something?

I read a verse recently that said (my paraphrase) not to steal from orphans BECAUSE GOD IS THEIR DEFENDER..........and defend He will. I can't recall where the verse was exactly, I think it was in Proverbs. God is the defender of orphans. That's pretty powerful. I like the image.

I pray that God protects these children's hearts. I pray that He helps me deal with it-and I pray that people will step up and DO SOMETHING for these precious children.

Like Tara L.

See the side bar (back on the upper left hand side of this blog page) for this week's feature and read about what she is doing. Click on the before/after picture of the little boy and read about what Tara is doing. She's an American living in Haiti. Has been there for four+ years. Has bio and adopted children. Teaching women skills. Making a difference, and running a marathon to save the lives of Haiti's malnourished children-you can help, right there from the comfort of your own computer screen. Click on the link, read the stories and give if you feel led to give.

I pray that God's people will DO SOMETHING.

Thank you, Lord.

These two precious babies are home with their forever family in the states. Woohoo!

Children really do come home from orphanages in Haiti.

Please pray for these boys and their forever family as they make this big transition. Pray for it to go well, attachment to develop, cement, and for their emotional and physical needs.

This makes 5, FIVE-count 'em 5 children to come home from the O in the past week. There are at least 4 more close behind.....wow!

On my heart today, are a few additional prayer requests-for the birth families in Haiti-as their children transition home, pray for comfort and peace for the families that made an adoption plan for their children because they thought it was the best thing for them. Also, pray for the nannies and staff at the orphanage. They provide the day to day care of these children, and love them as their own. Pray for them as this wave of children comes home. And also, pray for the children still at the orphanage. They may be sad and missing their friends. And wondering why their forever families don't come to get them and take them home.

Oh, and a few of you have inquired about Jefferson-I don't have any new news-I'm going with the no news is good news theory. Please continue to pray for his health though, and for God's hand to be on the whole situation and to really work a miracle. I'll post news when/if I hear more.

Your prayers matter. Thanks!

Pray!

Pray for this boy.

His name is Jefferson.

He needs medical attention.

He NEEDS prayer.

God knows the details.

Pray for this precious boy, please.

Thank you.

And another Haitian child moves closer to home....

I was contacted by another mom, who I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting in the real world, and she let me know that her daughter is almost home too-at the very end of the process...and they are praying she gets home before her birthday, which is in June.

Click here to read Abbie's blog.

That makes 9 NINE 9 children close to going home at Three Angels. (at least that I am aware of. I am not keeping an official list, this is just from moms/dads I have traveled with or met via blogland or facebook).

Wowsers.

So exciting!

God is great.

and another family is almost home....

This post would account for 2 more of the 8 kids I think are almost home/through the Haitian adoption maze. That brings the total to 7. I don't think the 8th family blogs.....but I know there is one more child that is almost ready to go home.

Lara


Yippee! Lord bring these precious children home to the families you chose for them. Please do it soon! Thank you!