Heavy

It has been a heavy week.

• A friend has lost a parent.
• Another friend has a grandparent in the hospital.
• A pregnant friend is having some scary health concerns.
• Another family is dealing with severe burns of their 6 year old daughter.
• And another family of a friend lost their mom to cancer.
• And there is the ongoing suffering of people I love, in Haiti.

My heart hurts for each of these dear friends and their situations.

It is the kind of week that makes me ask  questions like:

What the heck is going on here?

Why does God allow this kind of suffering?

Why do bad things happen to good people?

 
I have been praying on my face crying out to God for each situation.  Fortunately, God is very loving and kind.  And patient.  And merciful.

God has reminded me of what I know to be Truth:

We know that we are children of God 

and that the world around us is

under the power and control of 

the evil one.  

1 John 5:19

For me, this that changes the question into

How does ANYTHING good EVER happen?

It forces me to a realization and place of absolute humility and gratitude.

For my life is good.  Very, very good.

I am blessed.

Even amidst the pain and suffering. (and self imposed "stress".)

And I have known both pain and suffering.  Well.  Very well.

For pain and suffering are part of life.

As much as joy and laughter are.

I also know that the God I serve can and will take what the enemy means for evil (ie to harm God's children) and use if for His glory.  What Satan means for evil, God can use for good, somehow, some way.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD.

"They are plans for good and not for disaster, 

to give you a future and a hope".  

Jeremiah 29:11

		Put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all the strategies and tricks of the Devil.  For we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those mighty powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms.
		Use every piece of God's armor to resist the enemy in the time of evil, so that after the battle you will still be standing firm.
		Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness.
		For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that you will be fully prepared.
		In every battle you will need faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by Satan.
		Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
		Pray at all times and on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all Christians everywhere.

Ephesians 6:11-18

Pray with me.

Oh how the devil must hate it
when what he means for evil (the suffering and pain)
pushes us closer to the Lord Almighty,
and strengthens our faith,
our resolve,
and our prayers.

Ha ha, Satan. TAKE THAT!

Pray with me, people.

safe ?

You must read this.

10 weeks

We've been together as a family of four for ten weeks now. Can you believe it? I can't. It's that same strange time warp feeling I've written about before. It feels like the boys have always been here, and yet, it feels like they just got here yesterday. It's amazing.

I said to Bob the other day "We didn't even make these kids ourselves, and yet, they're just like us." It's so awesome to see the way God works. Of course, the boys are individuals with their own temperaments and personalities, and yet, they are part of this family in a way children born to our physical bodies would be too. For example:

One of the boys is the class clown, just like his father.
One of the boys is a picky eater, just like his father and aunt.
One of the boys chews on straws and pens just like his aunt.

One of the boys is controlling when anxious just like his mother.
One of the boys loves cars like his grandfather and father.

The list goes on, but you get the idea. It's very cool, when we follow God's leading how things work out-there is no doubt that God put this family together. I pray that we will listen and follow His promptings always.

People often ask "how are the boys adjusting?" and as far as I can tell, the answer is "very well." They have learned a lot of rules and structure since they've been here. Of course, they forget sometimes and test limits at other times, as all children do, but when I look back to the chaos of those first 2-3 weeks, I see huge strides. They speak and understand English very well. I do see some "processing time" delays from time to time, and I try to pay attention and give them time to figure out what I mean or what I am asking them to do. It can be difficult to discern testing/disobedience from not understanding the request unless I am really paying close attention. One of them also takes things quite literally. For example, I told him to stay in his room and not come out until I came to get him (at naptime). What I meant was, don't goof around, don't get up and play, stay in bed and stay in your room for a little rest. And he obeyed. Even though he had to poop. Really badly, apparently. And so he tried to go in the trash can. Missed and ended up going on the floor. This is what we laughingly refer to as a "code brown" in our house. It's a good thing Bob and I have a sense of humor, or this would be really really bad. LOL.

Oh, and there is the "great cactus incident of 2010".
And Smitty our "pet" scorpion.
And there is the fungal infection that won't quit-just keeps moving around.
And an earthquake in Arizona?!?! So thankful that we missed it so we didn't get to see just how traumatized the boys were by the quake in Haiti.

But those are for another update. Consider them job security for the therapists/counselors of the future.

Thanks for checking in, and please continue praying for our family. Your prayers are what make the difference.

Child Dedication, March 6, 2010

One year ago.....

Image by hoyasmeg via Flickr

I took a step of faith, obeying God and following Him way, way, WAY out of my comfort zone. I don't know if I can convey just how far out of my comfort zone this was....you'll just have to trust me on this one. (One example, I used to get nervous driving to CANADA. seriously. I used to be so fear-based, it blows my mind, looking back.)

I went on my first short term mission trip ever last year at this time.

When our church started planning the mission trips for that year, there were 3 or 4 separate trips planned, to different countries. In the early planning stages, the meetings were held jointly for all the different trips. The various leaders would present information on the country and the projects that the team would be doing while in country. Then we would split up into smaller groups based on the country/team/trip we were most interested in.

I went to the meetings, because I have always been interested in missions.

But I never had the __________________ (time, money, ability, group to go with, faith, etc., you fill in the blank with any excuse you can think of, and I had it) to go.

I would listen to the plans and discussions and think, that'd be neat, but I never did anything about it.

Eventually it came time to commit (*uh-oh, I have commitment issues also) to one trip, one country.

Haiti just "floated to the top" of my interest list. It wasn't like there was a big flashing neon sign or an audible word from God, but more like it just felt right. Haiti got "under my skin" and "into my heart" from the begining.

And so, I went about making plans.

Passport. Check.
Shots. Check.
Time off work. Check.
Fundraising. Check.
Gathering supplies. Check.
Reading all I could about Haiti and Three Angels Children's Relief. Check.
Packing. Check.

I remember the anxiety mixed with excitement.

I remember the full blown fear that tried to turn to panic at times.

I remember thinking of all the good I was going to do. (this one is funny in hindsight)

I remember wondering if I was doing the right thing, for the right reasons.

I remember getting negativity and objections and an overall lack of support from some people. Some of which I expected. Others were a shock.

I remember raising exactly the amount I needed to pay for this trip, down to the dollar, by the deadline/due date.

Even on the day of departure, there were things that came up that in the past, would have made me change my mind and stay home. But somehow, this day, this time was different. When the "things" came up, I became more determined-I viewed the obstacles as confirmation that I was indeed on the right path.

And so, I took a leap of faith.

And I will be forever grateful that I did.

For it is on that first trip that I met the children that God had chosen for our family from the beginning of time.

And I began what I have come to call our "adoption adventure". And what an adventure it has been and will continue to be.

I still don't know when the boys will come home, but God does.

I still can't see how I am going to pay all of the adoption fees, but God has a plan.

I don't know what sort of emotional or behavioral issues the boys are going to have or not have. But God does, and He will equip us to deal with whatever it is that we will need to deal with, in the right time, His perfect timing.


What I CAN see is this:

I now have now is a deeper and closer relationship with God. It is mind-blowing at times.

I am starting to get and really understand what words like: surrender, acceptance, trust, love and faith look and feel like.

I have a stronger and more intense prayer life.

I have a building confidence in God as my provider.

I have many many more opportunities to share with all sorts of people what God has done in my life, how He has adopted me, into His family. How I am not who I was.

I have friends all over the world who share the same passion for people less fortunate than we are. I have friends, oh, do I have a whole new network of friends: for prayer, for support, for venting, for encouraging, for learning, for understanding, for listening, for crying together.

And I have a family. A mother's love. A connection to two children that I did not give birth to.

And even if these children never come home to live with us, I will have gained much. No matter what happens in this world, I have gained much from this "adoption adventure" that started with a simple step of faithful obedience.

And for that, I am grateful.

Moved.
To.
Tears.
Grateful.

On.
My.
Knees.
In.
Humble.
Prayer.
Grateful.


Readers, if God is telling you to do something, please do not delay and miss out on the blessings He wants for you. Obedience is the key. Stepping outside of our comfortable lives is the key. I implore you not to put off obeying God.

God is good.

He loves you.

He's not mad at you.

He wants you back.

No matter what.

I get it now. I finally get it, God.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jer. 29:11

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Mathew 6:34

I could not have said this better.

Image by www.PCharlon.es  via Flickr

My friend Stephanie wrote a post today, that sums up most of what I've been experiencing lately.

Click here to read A Love/Hate Relationship.

Quick Update-I have been speechless for a few days.

This is a bit of a bipolar post. Full of ups and downs. My life is sort of like that these days. Friends and family moving away. Job changes. Financial stuff. Decisions. Big decisions. Small decisions. I don't think I am losing it. Maybe I am. But if I was, I don't think I would be aware of it, do you? Hmmmm. I'm pretty aware that my emotions are all over the place right now. I think that I just have to laugh or cry. Sometimes, both at the same time. So read on, at your own risk. LOL


Last week, I got an email from USCIS that says they have made a "favorable determination" regarding our AOF application. What this means is that USCIS has reviewed documents submitted and at least initially found that the boys meet the legal definition of orphan, as is required for immigration to the United States. That is good news. It's one small step in a process full of big and small steps. I don't really think it means we are any closer or anything like that-it just means that one thing has been accomplished. The letter tells me to pursue the adoption abroad, and then submit those documents to USCIS for a final approval. And it gives a deadline of September 2009. THAT made me laugh out loud.

In reviewing the letter, I also saw something else, that was not good news.

It's strange, because it is not something that I did not know.

I mean, I did already know this, but there was something about seeing it in black and white that just sort of took my breath away. Part of the documents reviewed include the forms/paperwork that the birth family filled out when they relinquished the boys to the orphanage.

Now I KNEW how long my boys have lived there. I have seen the pictures and talked to people involved with the orphanage long before me. This was not new information to me, but seeing the date in black and white really did a number on me. It took my breath away. It broke my heart. It forced me to my knees and to cry out to God. I have cried for the last several days, off and on. Fine one moment, not fine the next. Better when I don't think about it. But it's pretty hard not to think about it.

They have been there too long. That's all I'm going to say about it. It's a good place. They are happy. They are loved. They are fed. They are cared for. They are learning. It is a good place and I'm HAPPY they are there, for the alternative could be so much worse. And yet, it saddens me deeply because children belong in families, not in orphanages. Period. end of story.

I pray for the children-these two boys especially, but for all the children living in group settings or worse, on the streets. Who will care for them? Who will do something?

I read a verse recently that said (my paraphrase) not to steal from orphans BECAUSE GOD IS THEIR DEFENDER..........and defend He will. I can't recall where the verse was exactly, I think it was in Proverbs. God is the defender of orphans. That's pretty powerful. I like the image.

I pray that God protects these children's hearts. I pray that He helps me deal with it-and I pray that people will step up and DO SOMETHING for these precious children.

Like Tara L.

See the side bar (back on the upper left hand side of this blog page) for this week's feature and read about what she is doing. Click on the before/after picture of the little boy and read about what Tara is doing. She's an American living in Haiti. Has been there for four+ years. Has bio and adopted children. Teaching women skills. Making a difference, and running a marathon to save the lives of Haiti's malnourished children-you can help, right there from the comfort of your own computer screen. Click on the link, read the stories and give if you feel led to give.

I pray that God's people will DO SOMETHING.

Life. Death. Adoption. Attachment.

Our last Christmas together.

Today is the fourth anniversary of my mom's transition from this life to eternal life.

Four years.

48 months.

208 weeks.

1460 days.

Wow.

That is hard to fathom.

On one hand, it feels like yesterday.

On the other hand, it seems like an eternity ago.

Four years.

Throughout my life, I have lost many things.

Dreams.

Plans.

Hopes.

Relationships.

Pets.

Money.

The "ideal."

Jobs/Careers.

Innocence.

I have also lost other people. Acquaintances. Friends. Children of friends. Relatives. This was not my first experience with death. I attended funerals. I cried for those other people and their families. I was sad. Down. Blue. Grieving. Or so I thought. I guess in my own limited capacity, I was indeed grieving.

When my mom died it was an experience (pain) like no other. Now that I am on this Adoption Adventure and learning more about "attachment" I look back on that time, and can really see exactly what "attachment" is. The only problem is that you can't really see "attachment." It's not something you can hold in your hand and measure. The pain and grief that I experienced when my mom died was different than those earlier losses.

More intense.

More excruciating.

More painful.

And that, my friends, is evidence of "attachment." As complicated as my relationship with my mother was at times, there is absolutely no question that we shared "attachment."

As I watch my friends and relatives and their children interact, I do see glimpses of "attachment." I see the infants cry when their mom puts them down or leaves the room. I see the preschoolers come running to their moms when they fall down or when the other kids aren't being nice and their feelings are hurt. I see kids whisper to their mom because they are too shy to talk in front of me or the group of adults that is gathered around someones kitchen island. I even see "attachment" in the way a big (teenage) brother looks out for one of his younger siblings.

It seems to me that "attachment" is something that is learned. Over time. Parents who give birth to their kids and/or adopt them as an infant have a leg up on fostering "attachment" over those of us adopting older children. This is part a function of time, and part a function of infancy. A new born baby requires a lot of time and attention. And a newborn baby is so small, so precious, so cute, that we (adults) feel warm and fuzzy toward that baby, automatically (in most instances).

If baby cries and a parent meets the need-comforts the child, the child feels warm and fuzzy and "attachment" is created. And then reinforced over and over by the positive interactions and care giving of the parent to the child. This happens millions of times during infancy, and the child learns to trust that his/her needs will be met. As opposed to the child living in a neglectful or abusive situation, on the streets, or in an orphanage setting. In those situations, often, the child cries/has a need and there is not an adult available to meet the need. Or worse, the expressed need is met by abuse or harm. So the child learns that he/she must meet their own needs, and eventually shuts down the feeling of need, because it is just too painful to express a need and have it go unmet. This is a useful survival skill, but it will be a problem in future relationships. It will be a block to true intimacy and connection.

Now for those of us adopting older children, the good news is that this "attachment" can be learned (in my opinion). You can meet the needs of your older adopted child by treating them as you would an infant.

For a season.

Responding to their needs. Promptly.

Figuring out what their different cries mean.

Comforting them.

Feeding them.

Rocking them.

Snuggling/cuddling them.

Paying attention to them.

Being fully present with them.

Trying to figure out what their (mis)behavior is telling you.

Spending time with them.

Helping them build a vocabulary to ask for what they need.

Remember, that even though your child is older, chronologically, they are in a different place (younger) developmentally. Even that child that acts more mature and all grown up. Perhaps, especially that child.

So, when my older kids come home, and you see me "babying" them, don't judge. When we request some time alone, just our immediate family and the new arrivals, don't be upset.

Just know that I am trying to teach them that I am the one they can come to when they need something. Know that I am trying to help them unlearn some stuff they've learned along the way and re-learn what it means to be a child, to be loved, nurtured and taken care of and kept safe.

Eventually, they will get it. At least that is my prayer. Once they "attach" to me, they will be able to "attach" to others and to God. After all, that is the "attachment" that matters most. If they can't do it with me, their mama, how on earth can we expect them to develop healthy relationships with other people and a healthy spiritual condition? That is my job, to point them toward their heavenly Father-who is the only one who can meet all our needs. If I can do that, I have done my job.

I "get" what attachment is now, because I have experienced the loss of it. Or more accurately, the loss of someone to whom I was very attached. It's one of those concepts that you have to experience to "get." And, I have survived the loss. Learned a lot. Grown closer to God, mostly out of necessity. I had no choice but to crawl up into my "Papa's" lap and be comforted. And comforted I was. Amazingly. Indescribably. Beyond words. And my "attachment" to God has grown because I was Held (Natalie Grant song) There's the blessing in disguise-the silver lining in the cloud.

I started to "feel like my self again" around the 3 year mark of my mother's death. The pain stopped being so sharp and, well, painful that I thought I would die. Literally, there were days (months and years, actually) that I thought the pain would kill me.

It.

Was.

Physical.

Like my heart would explode.

It became less and less-and one day it was like a veil was lifted-the fog cleared a little and I felt....different. Not like "my old self" as that person is gone, different, changed now. But I felt different.....I don't really know how else to describe it. Peaceful? Accepting? Accepted? Comforted? Confident that I am loved?

Now, at the four year mark, the acute, sharp physical pain is gone. And in it's place is more of a dull ache. I just plain miss her. I wish she was here to share all this Adoption Adventure stuff with. And to share what God's been doing in my life. Oh, do I wish she were here and oh, do I miss her. But that is selfish. She's hanging out with God and is HEALED. And "at least a thousand times, I've rejoiced for" her (from the song Homesick by Mercy Me). But I no longer feel like I am going to die. And I have a deeper appreciation of the concept of "attachment" and my "attachment" to God has grown. So, that's progress.

May is a bittersweet month for me. The entire month is an up and down roller coaster of emotion. There's lots of highs and lows. Happy and sad things to celebrate/remember during this month. Add to that the things (milestones) going on with our Adoption Adventure (read about Steeve here and Jean Baptiste here)

I have learned to just "go with the flow" most of the time, and not fight it. Fighting it is my natural inclination. I practice a lot of radical acceptance "it is how it is" sort of stuff. I talk to God a lot. When I am able to listen, I receive even more comfort and "peace in the midst of chaos" as the (Sanctus Real) song goes. And my "attachment" to God is strengthened.

God wants YOU to know that He's not mad at you. He wants YOU back. He's waiting with open arms for you to crawl up in His lap and receive comfort and love. No matter where YOU've been or what YOU've done or gone through, God IS NOT MAD AT YOU. And He wants you back. Take it from me. I've experienced it. It's true.

In memory of my mom, this week has 2 featured links up in the side bar-on the left side of the screen. One will take you to the Hospice of Northwest Ohio's page "Myths about Hospice" Go there and learn something. Share it with a friend or family member. Those Hospice folks were a God-send-a true blessing. I wish we had involved them sooner.

The other is a how to guide to breast self exam. Click on the pic that says "feel your boobies" to go to the guide, then do it. Share it with a friend.

God Bless.

A reminder for me....

I love Ephesians 3:20.

It stuck in my head one time, a looong time ago.

I was attending a church with one of those suit wearing, leather Bible carrying pastors from the South. You know the pastor that gets a little fired up when he's preaching? Always moving around on the stage/in the pulpit. Looking right at ya. Sometimes hollerin'. Usually getting red in the face-he's so on fire with what he is saying-the kind that makes you wanna yell "PREACH IT BROTHER!!" even though you wouldn't dare? (or at least I wouldn't dare) LOL.


I loved that man's preachin'. He could get me fired up. And this is one of those times when he did just that. The passage is from Ephesians chapter 3, and it's verse 20 that is forever ingrained in my head and my heart.

Here it is in several different versions.

New King James:

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,


New Living Translation:

Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope.


New International Version:

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,


English Standard Version:

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,


New American Standard Bible:

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us,

**********************************************************

I think that I like this verse so much because it is a good reminder. It helps me to get God out of the box I have a tendency to (sometimes) put Him in.

And, because I have a pretty vivid imagination. I'm one of those people who prefers to read a book rather than see the movie because it is always, somehow, better in the book (and therefore in my head/imagination) than the movie. I picture the way the people in the book look. I can smell the smells, feel the feelings-imagine the entire thing-a movie of my own making, with help from the author. If I've read the book, you can pretty much put money on the fact that I will be disappointed in the movie.


And this verse reminds me that although I can imagine some pretty great stuff. Our God is able to do much much more than I can imagine, think or ask.

Exceedingly more.

Abundantly more.

Immeasureably more.

Infinitely more.

Wow.


I.

Can.

Imagine.

Some.

Pretty.

Great.

Awesome.

Wonderful.

Terrific.

Stuff.

Really.

I.

Can.

In fact, I have even been a part of some really great, awesome, wonderful, terrific things in life.

Moments when the world seems as it should be-all is right with the world.

My family is all together.

Or enjoying the breathtaking beauty of God's Creation

whether that be a newborn baby

or the vastness of the ocean

or the quiet coolness of a mountain breeze

or the gift of an awesome meal

or watching a reunion between a mom and her adopted child

or watching children I've grown to love come home to their forever families

or a moment of tender loving care

or a piece of dark chocolate ;-)

or a moment of Peace

or a moment of helping someone see and understand and feel the depth of God's love for them

or a teachable moment where I see a child GET something-really GET it, understand it and learn it.

Or __________________ you fill in the blank.

I could go on and on.


Little bits of heaven on earth.


And God can do MORE than that.


WAAAAY more than that.

Wow.

Lord, thank you for reminding me WHO YOU ARE.

Please forgive me for sometimes putting you in a box.

Please help me to see what you see-give me your eyes as the (Brandon Heath) song goes.

Help me to do your will, to play my part in your plan-whatever that may be.

Thank you for adopting me into your family.

Thank you for allowing us to take part in this Adoption Adventure.

Help me to keep my eyes on You and not on my problems or perceived obstacles, while we journey together so that I may be an encouragement to others and bring GLORY TO YOU.

Help me to stay surrendered to Your will and to submit this entire Adoption Adventure to You. After all, those children belong to You, not to me.

Thank you for the abundant blessings you have already given me, I am grateful.

Humbled.

and.

Awed.

Thank you, Lord.

These two precious babies are home with their forever family in the states. Woohoo!

Children really do come home from orphanages in Haiti.

Please pray for these boys and their forever family as they make this big transition. Pray for it to go well, attachment to develop, cement, and for their emotional and physical needs.

This makes 5, FIVE-count 'em 5 children to come home from the O in the past week. There are at least 4 more close behind.....wow!

On my heart today, are a few additional prayer requests-for the birth families in Haiti-as their children transition home, pray for comfort and peace for the families that made an adoption plan for their children because they thought it was the best thing for them. Also, pray for the nannies and staff at the orphanage. They provide the day to day care of these children, and love them as their own. Pray for them as this wave of children comes home. And also, pray for the children still at the orphanage. They may be sad and missing their friends. And wondering why their forever families don't come to get them and take them home.

Oh, and a few of you have inquired about Jefferson-I don't have any new news-I'm going with the no news is good news theory. Please continue to pray for his health though, and for God's hand to be on the whole situation and to really work a miracle. I'll post news when/if I hear more.

Your prayers matter. Thanks!

Thanks for praying, please keep praying!

For Jefferson.

He got the medicine that he needs.

Now we wait and see if it works, if it's the right (specific) medicine that he needs.

Please pray that it is, that it works and that there is full and complete healing and restoration.

Pray for his emotional comfort and for his parents and care-givers.

Thanks so much!

Prayer works.

Pray!

Pray for this boy.

His name is Jefferson.

He needs medical attention.

He NEEDS prayer.

God knows the details.

Pray for this precious boy, please.

Thank you.

My heart is going to burst....good news in Haitian Adoptions

My heart is going to burst with joy, and in a good way......

:-)

Click on the names to read the good news.

Cara

Kathy

I'm so happy for these families. And I'm aware of a few others that have had movement in their files this week. I think the last time I did a quick count, there are about 8 children in the end stages....almost home to their forever families at the orphanage where the boys are........The two families above account for 5 children.

Praise God.

I'm so excited.

God is faithful.

God is great.

Movement in the Haitian adoption process.

WOOHOO!

This was too good not to share....

Click here to read an interesting Haiti story. I liked it a lot.

Today was a good news day on the Haitian adoption front. Several children are VERY CLOSE to going home. There was also movement in other adoptive family's files-from one step to the next for a few families. Movement is exciting, even if it's not specifically for us. It's sooooo exciting and encouraging. It gives me great hope. It makes my heart leap a little. For joy.

God is great.

Miracles do happen.

Pictures from my most recent (and all previous) trips are up on my facebook page.

I want to tell you what happened on the day that I came home from Haiti.

To me, it is more evidence that God exists. That God cares. That God listens and answers prayers. That prayers matter. Those of you who have traveled to Haiti via Miami International will understand this more than those who have not. I know that many of my readers have a relationship with God, and this is not new information for you. Consider it a reminder then. :-) I also know that I have other readers who are skeptical or don't have a relationship with God. At any rate, I just felt I needed to share this story of not just "traveling mercy" as we so often ask for, but of several "traveling miracles".


So our team arrives at the airport in Haiti and as I'm checking in, the ticket agent tells me that our flight out is delayed by about 90 minutes. Okay, that's not unusual.

Then she says I won't make my connection in Miami. So she's looking in the computer, intently, trying to find another flight from Miami to Phoenix. She's looking. She's searching. She's looking. She's frowning. After what seems like an eternity, she informs me that there are no more flights from Miami to Phoenix until 24 hours AFTER the one I'm booked on.

Groan.

I ask her to check other routes, non-direct flights etc. She does, and says, even if I stop in Dallas, there is still nothing the same day.

Groan.

She excuses herself for a moment, ducks into the back room for some unknown reason. While she is gone, I quickly explain to one of my traveling buds-Kristina, what is going on, and say "Please pray!" which both Kristina and I do silently while the ticket agent is gone.

When she returns she says, "well, you might make it. So I will leave it alone, but also put a ticket on hold for this other flight tomorrow." So I figure that her supervisor told her to leave it alone, and let it be Miami's problem once I get there and miss the flight.

But whatever.

So off we go to "hurry up and wait" which is what traveling by air entails. Several hours later, we get on the plane and we're off, about 90 minutes later than scheduled.


This is where the miracles start (in my opinion):

in 59 minutes, exactly:


I make it off the plane, from the rear-almost the very back-row 31.
I get through the first desk for Customs & Immigration. (you know the place with the 20+ lines that usually resembles a mob scene after the long walk from the plane?)
I get to baggage claim.
I get both of my bags, with a little help from my friends.
I get through the 2nd desk/check point for Customs & Immigration.
I get to security screening check point and re-check my 2 bags.
I get upstairs from the baggage claim area and head to terminal D.
I get through security.
I make it all the way to the END of concourse D-to gate D49. Sometimes jogging, sometimes walking briskly. At least 2x stepping right out of my flip flops. And at every bathroom and sandwhich stand, debating if I have time to stop. Needing to stop, somewhat desperately.

Being unable to locate a clock or the current local time, anywhere, I decide it best to keep moving.

As I approach the gate, I hear my name being called over the loudspeaker-and the words "final call for boarding and immediate departure."

I make it to my seat and we leave.

WHEW.

All of this in 59 minutes, exactly.

and, get this.

When I arrive in Phoenix, I tell my hubby that we are most likely going to have to wait til all the bags are unloaded, so that I can file a claim with baggage services.

There is no way, in that mad dash that my 2 checked bags got on the plane.

No way.

But guess what?

They did.

Both of them.


And so, I am reminded that prayer is important and that God is still in the business of miracles.

I was so happy to be home and to reconnect with my hubby. Of course, I am sad and I miss the boys something fierce. And at the same time, it is good to be home. So good.

Thank you to my traveling buds and friends, for your help and prayers. Thank you God for knowing what I needed and allowing it to happen. Thanks also for the gift of being able to travel to spend time with the boys.

Thank you!

God Moments.....part two

click here to read God Moments part one


I've had a super busy week, weekend and I'm at the start of another busy week. It's funny how life is like that, sometimes. I have actually had something to do every single night for the past 8 or 9 days. In addition to work at my job and my practice. Oh, and chores at home, shopping, bills, other commitments. You know, this grown up, adult life I am supposed to be living. (when did I become a grown up? is there some where I can file a grievance? lol)

I'm doing okay, but I am tired.

I think I will survive though. :-)

We had a busy and productive weekend, and on Sunday, I was able to stay close to home, in fact, I didn't venture out at all. It was nice for my introverted self to have a day at home. I did a lot of things, but I was at home, one of my favorite places in the world.

Then we're on to the start of the week. Mondays, I normally only see a few clients in my private practice office. Yesterday was different though, I had been asked to fill in at the hospital for a co-worker. So it was an especially busy day, because I was doing both things in the same day, and I have a study that I do on Monday evenings. So I knew starting out it was going to be a long day. And right now, Tuesdays are a little like that too. Not as tough as this Monday, but still a long day.

I was feeling a little weary, but not excessively. I wasn't even grouchy, at this point in my Monday. I'm working so hard now, so we can reach some goals, both for the adoption and ourselves. Raising kids is expensive and hard work, so we are using this time to prepare. So I have a goal, and that helps me to push through the tiredness and keep moving. And the person that I'm covering for most of the time at the hospital is returning next week, so that will alter my schedule and my pay check significantly. As I mentioned before, I could use the break.


And then, the God moment happened.

You know how sometimes, things seem to converge all at once....the music playing, the sights, the sounds, the smells, the thoughts? I don't know, maybe this only happens to me......but at any rate, it does happen to me sometimes.

I was driving to work and I got stopped at a red light. No big deal. I'm not late, it's all good.

This is a bad habit that I have developed recently-I picked up my phone to look at it and see if I had any new message. I wish I wouldn't do that while I was driving. But this time, it turned out to be a good (God) thing. And I was stopped at a red light.

So, I'm in the car. Stopped at a red light. I look at my phone and see an email notification that I have received a payment from someone via ChipIn & PayPal. It takes me a second to realize....that this blessing, this gift is from a stranger. And it is a generous gift. At first, I'm confused, I don't know why I'm getting money from Paypal. I don't have any current listings on ebay. Then I remember the ChipIn link on my blog.

At the same instant that I'm processing all of this, the radio suddenly comes into my awareness.

A man's voice is singing

"There's a light at the end of this tunnel.
There's a light at the end of this tunnel.
There's a light at the end of this tunnel for you."

Just like that. A warm, sweet, simple God moment. I felt God's love and encouragement. He will provide. He IS providing. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, for me. A bit of encouragement at just the right time. A reminder that God is in control and I don't need to worry or stress out so much. I can get through this week. And guess what? Next week I'll be on my way to Haiti, another one of my favorite places in the world.

:-)

That song played in my head all day long.

Never underestimate the power of giving.....whether it be money, food, an encouraging word, a friendly smile.......You never know how God plans to use it to bless someone else who really needs it. At just the right time. At just the right moment. In just the right way.

God is great.

God moments....part one

When I sat down to write this post, I had a different result in mind. However, this is how it came out, and so perhaps some body out there needs to read it. I will continue with part two-which is what I wanted to tell you about at first....but here is God Moments, part one.....

I have experienced instances of what I have come to call "God moments." I have these moments, when it's as if all of my senses are heightened-and I can see/hear/feel/sense God in that moment. Sometimes, it's a moment of clarity that hits like a bolt of lightning. Sometimes it's a gentle reminder of something I need to hear. Often, it happens in times of pain-grief or sadness over some situation or relationship or loss. Often, it is right smack in the middle of a seemingly normal moment in a busy day. This post is about the first kind. Part two is about the second kind.

Some of the most recent God moments were during a dark time in my life. I have identified 3 seasons in my life that are what you could call "dark nights of the soul". Painful, excruciating seasons that when they were happening, I wasn't sure I would survive. Tough times, but tougher than most. Times when I thought the pain would surely kill me. The first two dark times, I did not turn to God. I tried to do things my way. To deal with the pain and the problems in my own way, on my own timing. What a joke! All I did was succeed in making things worse. Hurt myself and other people along the way.

By the time the 3rd dark season came along, my relationship with God had really started to blossom and grow. I found a Bible teaching church that was about Relationship, not religion. I had some honest to goodness, sincere, growing Christian friends. People who understood a lot more about God's real character than I ever learned in my "religion". And this season was the darkest of my life so far. The hardest thing I've had to live through so far. And I could see it coming. My mom had been diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. She was dying.

On some level I had gained enough understanding to know that my ways were not working and that I was not going to be able to get through this season on my own. So I made a choice. I remember it clearly-I said to God, "okay, I'm going to do it Your way. Instead of trying to avoid the pain and run away, I'm going face it. But You will have to get me through it, because I can NOT do this. I believe You when You say that You will be with me, and I believe that Your ways are better than mine."

And that has made all the difference.

• I turned TO God instead of myself/my own ideas/ways for coping (ie avoiding).
• I turned to a select few trusted friends.
• I turned to prayer, my own (when I could) and asked others to pray for me when I could not.
• I turned to the pain, instead of trying to pretend "I'm okay."

The day of my mother's funeral has been the hardest day of my life, so far. I got through it by the grace of God, helped by the prayers of many Christ following friends. I literally experienced it like this story out of the book of Exodus (17:12-13):

As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up--one on one side, one on the other--so that his hands remained steady till sunset.

I felt people holding me up in prayer. As if good friends were hugging me, supporting me and helping me walk through that day. Holding my arms and my head up, because I could not do it myself. People were there, with me-what a gift that is. People who couldn't be there, physically, were there in spirit-in prayer. And I felt it. I felt people holding my hands up because I couldn't do it.

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF YOUR PRAYERS.

And you know what I am learning on this journey we call following Christ?

God is good.

How kind the LORD is! How good he is! So merciful, this God of ours!
Psalms 116:5

God is kind.

Don't you realize how kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Or don't you care? Can't you see how kind he has been in giving you time to turn from your sin? Romans 2:4

God is loving.

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

God is close to the broken-hearted.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, Isaiah 61:1

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4

God is faithful and can be trusted.

Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands. Deuteronomy 7:9

He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he. Deuteronomy 32:4

God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful. 1 Chronicles 1:9



These are not just words on a page. They are God's Word. They are love letters from God to me. And to you. I have not just read these words, I have experienced them. I have lived them.

Bottom line:

God's ways are better than mine.

God loves and accepts me, even when I screw up. The same is true for you. Honestly, it is true for you too.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Do you have questions about it? A strong reaction one way or the other? Click "additional thoughts" Let's talk about it.

Click here to read God Moments part two (what I originally sat down to tell you about)

My focus for today....

This is the day that the Lord has made

I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalms 118:24 NKJV

and

Tree 63

Blessed Be Your Name

From the album The Answer To The Question

Blessed be Your name in the land that is plentiful

Where Your streams of abundance flow

Blessed be Your name

And blessed be Your name when I’m found in the desert place

Though I walk through the wilderness

Blessed be your name

Every blessing You pour out I’ll turn back to praise

And when the darkness closes in Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name when the sun’s shining down on me

When the world’s “all as it should be”

Blessed be Your name

And blessed be Your name on the road marked with suffering

Though there’s pain in the offering

Blessed be Your name

You give and take away

You give and take away

My heart will choose to say Lord,

blessed be Your name

*********************************

Faith is not a feeling.

Seriously, how much faith is required if everything goes according to my plans? If everything in my life is peachy and just the way I want it? Not much-that would turn to comfort which could then lead to pride-even arrogance "Look at what I've done. Look what I've got. I've got it under control." That is a sinful attitude that I am all too prone toward.

I may not feel like praising or rejoicing.

However, I have faith.

And I believe God is great.

All the time.

No matter what.

I will choose to exercise my faith by choosing to rejoice.

By choosing to praise.

Even when I cannot see a reason.

Even when things don't make any sense.

Even when things don't go the way I want them to.

Even when I don't get what I want.

That is what faith is.

*************************************************************

Thank you God for the gift of another day from (You) whom ALL BLESSINGS FLOW.

Thank you for caring enough to grow and stretch me-to grow my faith in You. I'm awed and humbled by the fact that you would even care or notice how I respond and that you want to grow me and increase my faith in You. I thank You for all You have done, are doing and will do in my life through this Adoption Adventure and beyond. Please protect those little boys and keep them safe and let them really feel your love. They need you, Father. I need you. In the precious name of Jesus. Amen.

Getting excited!!!!

Wow, so excited! Can't hardly stand it. Feel like a kid on Christmas Eve! ;-) Only one more night til travel-two til we get there! (due to a lengthy lay over)

Got lots to do today. Packing and organizing supplies-thanks to all who donated stuff for the orphanage! This could not be done without your help, so THANK YOU!

Last minute errands to run, lots of them. :-)

The dossier is complete. I have the blank forms I need to fill out while we're down there for our DHS (Department of Homeland Security) appointment while we are there. Pray for this process to go smoothly.

I have the camera. :-)

Your prayers are appreciated-while we travel and always.

Pray that this is a God filled trip.

Pray for the entire team. There are several youth going on this trip-giving up their spring break fun to serve God. Pray for any of the first time folks dealing with anxieties. Pray for stamina and good health and good sleep for everyone.

Pray for the projects and work that is planned.

Pray for the fun and crafts/activities that are planned.

Pray for the children, their birth and adoptive families.

Pray for the staff at the O. Give thanks for the awesome nannies who love on and take care of the children.

Give thanks for a child and his adoptive mother being reunited after more than a year apart, and that he gets to come home, finally!

Pray for us as we spend time with the boys and as Bob meets them for the first time.

Pray for God to keep His hand on our dossier, our family-the entire process. We pray for super-naturally fast movement through this process, yet at the same time trust God's perfect timing, whatever that may be.

We thank God for you. We appreciate your prayers.

**********************************************************

In the morning, as Jesus was returning to Jerusalem, he was hungry,

and he noticed a fig tree beside the road.

He went over to see if there were any figs on it,

but there were only leaves. Then he said to it,

"May you never bear fruit again!"

And immediately the fig tree withered up.

The disciples were amazed when they saw this and asked,

"How did the fig tree wither so quickly?"

Then Jesus told them, "I assure you, if you have faith

and don't doubt, you can do things like this and much more.

You can even say to this mountain, `May God lift you

up and throw you into the sea,' and it will happen.

If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

Matthew 21:18-22

NLT

They all met together continually for prayer,

along with Mary the mother of Jesus,

several other women, and the brothers of Jesus.

Acts 1:14

NLT

************************************************

quick update

I think I might just get this done......

I made 237 copies yesterday, and that was only about half of what I needed-this is the part I did at the copy/office store. I did some in my own office, but my machine is super duper slow. So I'd say that the 237 is about half.

I got the other last minute things I was waiting on-back from the translator.....

And tomorrow (Weds.) morning, I am to meet Officer "Lovely" and pick up the much needed I71h approval letter. WOOHOO!

Prayer meeting at our house on Friday to cover the entire dossier with prayers before we take it down and submit it.

If you can't come, please pray with us on Friday. That each piece of paper would be exactly what is needed. That there is no more/no less info than required. That God would keep His hand on these documents as they move through the process. That they would MOVE through the process-fly through. That's not humanly possible, but with God, all things are possible. That this part of the process would go as quickly as possible-all the while, we trust God's wisdom and perfect timing and praise Him for what He has already done, and for what He will do. That we will have our DHS appointment during the week we are scheduled to be in Haiti and that there would be no delay in getting things moving.


God is great!